4:26:00 PM - Monday, May 12, 2008
How do you tell someone you're really sorry for hurting him / her, without any intention to hurt him / her? And worst it is not your first time? And another worst part is that you don't even know how to explain it to the person why you did that, though you know deep down inside it is not that person is doubting about. Another one, scandalous, affairs, spares... whatever you call it.
Another part of it, you don't even know why you did it. Like BLANK! :( You're at fault at the same time you're not. Complicated mind.
I can feel the walls building around you, and everytime I reached out to touch, I could feel the shock and the coldness. And at times, I collected myself and burry myself in my pitch dark corners of my mind, wondering helplessly and biting back my tears. What am I to do? I search for some solution in the scenery, but I can't find any. I'm stuck, left out cold and suddenly I feel so lonely. You changed at a snap of fingers, just like that. You turned away and I can't feel the warmth of your love anymore, I'm lost and all I could do is silence myself.
I watched you sleep, how wonderfully beautiful you looked. Your long eyelashers swept across your cheeks, your lips pink and soft and your breathing soft and supple, wonderfully peaceful. How I wished I could be back in your arms again, away from all this trouble. How I wished I could be in your embraced, leaning my head on your shoulder, knowing that I am safe, secured and loved. But when you lift open your eyelids, all I get was a stabbing stare from your clear brown eyes, it felt worst then a knife, I could sense your hatred and I could sense the broken heart. Heart clenched, all I could do was once again... silence. And I can't blame anybody, but ME!
The bitch you once loved.
I am so sorry, darling. So sorry...
s'étreignent et s'embrassent
xoxo; yourstruly